Felix
![Picture](/uploads/9/0/0/9/9009703/9366011.png?349)
Name:
Felix
→ Origin and meaning:
The name Felix means happy and fortunate in Latin, which is opposite this guy's real personality. He likes his name though; It fits him.
Alias(es):
N/A
Gender:
Male
Breed and Species:
Canine:: Akita Inu Mix
Theme Song:
In The End by Linkin Park
Sexual Orientation:
Straight
Relationship Status:
He's not in a relationship.
Family/Relatives/Friends:
His closest friend is Steve Rogers.
He is also close to Hakim.
Accessories:
N/A
Psychological Profile:
Felix has had a very hard life so far. He's unsure, and afraid about so many things around him. It's hard for him to trust anyone, or anything, because of this. His mental abilities also make his fearfulness worse, since he can sense how people feel towards him, or what 'aura' they feel. It terrifies Felix immensely.
He's also skittish in a different factor of his way. His thought abilities. They have a much deeper power than even he understands, and can influence him to fear if another person is afraid. Felix has spent so much time in New York, around a lot of other fearful people and animals, and so has picked up a fearfulness from them.
Despite his desperate fear, Felix is, as many dogs are, impatiently curious. He likes learning, and increasing the uses of his brain immensely. Although, curiosity is not necessarily a good thing, in his life. It's Felix's curiosity that drives him to read people with his mind. He can't help it, because it's a natural thing he wants to do.
Curiosity has saved Felix's life before, as well. His curiosity has led him to seeing what's a bad thing to do, and a good thing to do, and thus, based on what he has seen from seeking it out with curiosity, he knows exactly how to behave in his home, and is a very fast learner in new places.
Felix is very influenced by the people and dogs he has met and interacted with in his life. He takes their advice to heart, and remembers it throughout his years. Those he's stuck with longer, or has had better friendships with, he keeps more to his heart. Felix also has his own influential personality, but it's a lot less powerful than others are to him. As well as being influenced physically, Felix has been influenced by others secretly, in the mental part of state and body. His head picks up on others' feelings and emotions, and transfers it to him. He is influenced, unwillingly, to feel what others feel, and it makes it easier for him to know how to act around them.
If Felix finds someone he gets along very well with, perhaps a person who makes a perfect owner, he will become ultimately loyal. He will pursue pleasing the person or animal, trying to keep them happy. He will not sell them out for anything, won't share their secrets, and doesn't even expect the same treatment back.
Loyalty is a surprising factor in Felix's life, as it doesn't reward him very often. Even after being back-stabbed by many once called 'friends', he still retains a loyal piece of mind, though he has also learned reluctance about showing it to just anyone. Only those he knows he can trust earn his service anymore.
Felix has learned the art of secrecy the hardest way possible. He has had to pick it up after weeks of torment and mistreatment. Long ago, when he was much younger and had more friends, he shared the secret of his power to someone, and ultimately paid the price. They told others, and eventually it was one on all.
Secrecy is also one of the few ways Felix has stayed alive in New York for so long, as he has been capable of keeping to himself, and telling others as little as they can get out of him. He has become detached, and anymore keeping to himself as become a big part of his life, and a habit that's hard to break.
Background Overview:Journal of Felix
This story includes people/characters from the recent new movie "The Avengers", including Tony Stark, Pepper, and Steven Rogers. I take no ownership of them, nor creation of them. They were invented by Marvel and I simply wish to use them for this story. Thank you.
Day 1
Still on the streets. Still fighting for my life. My brain is in severe pain, and has been. Won't make it unless I get away~ There are too many people, too many thoughts zipping around me. Too many things to confuse my brain. It's not a vein clot in my head, that causes this immense head ache. It's my overreacting mind, annexing itself onto the thoughts of other people and feeding itself information. I hate myself for this. I hate the fact I can look into people, for who they truly are and how they truly think of me. I'm scared that one day this will lead to my intimate demise. It's a possibility anyway.
The library was closed today, but that was because they were cleaning up the old books and getting rid of some. I knew this, but I shouldn't have. The library is my favorite place. Even behind it, by the smelly dumpster where the rats hang out. I love it. So much. Due to the fact it was a cleaning day, many old books lay in boxes in the alley behind the library. So many of them. Enough to keep my brain busy for a few hours of the day, instead of allowing it to wander off and hurt me. Hurt me so much...
I'm different, I know. I know how people see me. I cannot mention my secret without getting awful glares from people around me. It hurts, so much. I am feared and despised just because I know why they look at me funny. I'm a street dog too. No one likes strays. Pure bred Akita dog, standing on the street looking for a home, but I am kicked to the curb or ignored. Someone tried to run over me once. That was scary.
I had no luck with food. My usual joint was also closed, as well as several other places I liked fetching my meals from. I had to trash dig, only found a bone or two. And a rat. It bit me on the nose and stole the bone I found. Rats are not good friends. They lie through their teeth to get what they want. I know when they lie, even if they do it at their absolute best.
I wasn't here when it happened. 'Aliens' attacked New York. Was out in the country, trying to calm my mind. When I came back to the good Manhattan I was used to, zip. Everything was in ruins. There were bodies of rock-like, deadly looking monsters everywhere. And giant things, all crunched up and covered in armor. I didn't have a clue what happened. I was so lost and confused when I came back. There was nearly nothing for me here, but I managed to make a living.
I still make a living. Must do that now.
Day 2
So many new things are taking place. So many things to think about. To hear about. So many intelligent things. But I don't care for them. I prefer going on with my life and leaving the thinking to other people. Except I can't. My brain makes me think. I have to think. Or else it hurts. So much pain I've encountered. Thinking is like breathing for me. I hate thinking so much. It hurts. But my brain doesn't care.
Sleep. Not even sleep saves me from my mind. It's scary. I know how to live with it though. It takes a little while, getting used to the voices people are thinking, which should be conserved to their head, but is in yours as well. I managed. Not easily, though. Barely. I promise you.
I see things, that amuse me. Like the red metal man. He flies too high for my power to reach, and I envy him. He flies to his building, marked with "Stark". I wish I could fly. Then I could escape the head-aching thoughts that fill me every day. I wish I had a big, metal suit, to block off the rest of the world and be on my own. I wish... No. No time for wishes and dreams.
The metal man, I will find him. I will see him and watch him fly. Perhaps I may find a home... A quiet home. A calm home. A home that welcomes me. I hope. I wish. But there's no time for wishes.
There is time for thinking. And surviving. I will do both.
Day 3
Long time, no see. I walk the streets of Manhattan with a new air. Bravery enters me. I went to visit the man with his metal suit. The metal man. No one else I know calls him that. They say "Tony" or 'Stark' or 'Ironman' but I do not know these names. I know him differently, and he must show me that he is not just a metal man. I like when people show me what they're made of on their own, instead of my having to read it.
His building. It's so very big, and confusing. It was easy enough to get inside. It is hard now that I am inside. I could not concentrate. The walls are thick, though, and hide the voices outside. It is easy for me to hide from humans. They do not see very well. I do. I ran. I went deeper into the building, eventually finding stairs and making my way up. Up as high as I could go. Kept running up, even when fatigue filled me. Up was my escape, I remembered.
There were so few voices, so very few. My brain was... clear. For once. I loved it. I kept running up, until there were no more stairs, and entered a hallway. Not much, just a few doors and things. It was all so different from New York and Manhattan. They had a touch of old times to them. But not here. Nothing.
I sat outside a door and waited. Perhaps someone would come by. Perhaps not. I was patient enough, and hunger was no problem. As a stray, I learned regurgitating food and feeding on it a second time is very useful. Keeps me less hungry. I regurgitated my last meal, cold chicken, but someone watched.
A human, a girl, female. Watched me puke on the floor. That's what regurgitation is; puking. I stopped lurching and carrying forth my lunch to look at her, and my brain automatically read her. She was curious. She felt sorry for me. I didn't see why. No one felt sorry for me. Or my dirty pelt or legs like sticks. I was on my own. But she felt sorry.
We stared at one another for a while. Then she called to me. I came. She believed I was a poor, sick stray who needed love and attention. That was true. She picked me up, wiping a bit of cold chicken liquid off my muzzle, and carried me to a door. It was an elevator. I knew. The elevator went up, but only when she wanted it to. I suspected no one else could use it. It was hers, and probably the metal man's as well.
I was interested. Kindness is a rare thing to come by.
Day 4
I do know the metal man is not the metal man anymore. He is Stark. I know this now. He was not happy to see me when he came home. I watched from the couch, after being bathed, fed, and comforted by his friend. Her name is Pepper, I know this now. I like her a lot. She speaks comforting words to me, and she is kind. "Come now, boy. I know you must be hungry. Come and eat, come on." She said. I went. She is good outside herself and inside. I can tell. My mind tells me these things.
When Stark came home, he came home in a fantastic way. I wish I could do it. He was in his metal suit, and landed. I see no colors, but can sense that it is red, maybe something else. Not quite sure. He landed his suit on a terrace outside, and walked. Parts began to move and I was frightened. But it was okay, Pepper comforted me and told me it was okay. I listened. I am not one to argue with kind humans. He landed and walked forward, and machinery removed his suit quickly and easily. He did nothing, just paced forward.
Stark smiled at Pepper, but seeing me made him frown. He raised an eyebrow, and I dropped my ears. I fear what humans will think of me. "What is this doing here? Where'd you pick it up?" He asked. "Well, I've decided he makes a much better Stark in the long run." Smirked Pepper. I wagged my tail a little. Stark didn't seem all too amused. "I'm not letting strays run about my building. He'll have to go to someone else. Sorry." He said. I could feel Pepper, I knew she was unhappy. I got off the couch, walking towards the door and sitting there, waiting. "See? He wants to go" Stark said.
"No, Tony, if we give him away to anyone, you're going to find him a home yourself." She said. I knew what she meant. He'd be finding me a better home than a crowded pound or such. I thanked her silently, because pounds are loud with thoughts and minds. The pain I yield from pounds is unbearable for a dog. It might kill a human. Stark groaned, unhappily. "Come on... I don't know anyone who would take a dog like... That." He said. Looked at me funny. I wagged my tail a little. "Fine, at the next Avengers Initiative meeting, I'll take him there. Hopefully that'll get him off our hands." He sighed. Pepper smiled and they hugged, sitting on the couch.
Mr. Stark is going to find me a new home soon. I am excited, since a new home is exactly what I've been looking for. Someone to actually want me around.
Day 5
This happens as I speak it. My mind etches down what goes on as I live it. No longer will I commonly recollect. I will inform as things happen, most of the time. It's easier. At least, for me. Remembrance is an evil thing for me. I have suffered much, and I am young. Maybe two years old. I have suffered greatly in my past though. So now, I am afraid to remember. So I will etch them down as they happen.
Stark has taken me to his 'Avengers Initiate' meeting. He is apprehensive about it, I know. He acts excited though, because he will be getting rid of me, and he wants to appear perky and happy today. I know Stark much better now, and he is very good at concealing true emotion. But not from me. I know how he feels. I know how everyone feels. My time in his home, maybe a week, it was quiet and kind on my brain. It was wonderful in fact. Calm, quiet, wonderful. Like bliss.
When I am let down, as he carried me in his metal suit to get here, my brain immediately picks up mixed things. They are the thoughts and beliefs of soldiers, of spies, of killers and of other dangers. I am frightened. but Stark encourages me. "Go, go on, wander around and see if someone likes you enough to keep you. So Pepper'll get off my back." He insists. I go. Carefully. My paws make hardly a sound as I briskly pace down random hallways, ears down, looking about. People look at me, oddly, but otherwise ignore me. I continue, looking for somewhere quiet.
I find my quietness. Heading down, for once, down has saved me. I am confused though, up or down? Which is better? Oh well. It doesn't matter now, only that down is better than up right now. I walk, carefully, sitting to concentrate on my thoughts. When a new sound enters my ears. I am confused though, as I do not sense anything in my head yet. I follow the noise, careful to listen and walk. Down here it's a maze.
The sounds are vicious. They sound like the one time I watched a pair of gangs go into a fist fight. A fist making hard contact with something. Maybe a person? I am doubtful. I keep going though. I am curious now. The noise gets louder, and following it brings newer, sounds. Huffs of breath with every shot. A short "Hah!" with every muffled punch. I wag my tail a little, and walk a bit quicker. I recognize what one might call this place. A training area, or something. But there's only one person here, I am sure.
I enter a large room, where a man stands alone. I sniff, cautiously, but I know he is not dangerous. In fact, he is the most interesting person as all. His thoughts are clear, and calm, but muddled partly with recollections of the past. With each blow, I know he sees worse ones coming up and he hits more and more powerful. A leather bag, a punching bag, is his target. I watch for a few moments, trying to not read his thoughts, just watch for once. His muscles are tensing with every shot, and, finally, the bag flies off its chain and slams into the wall. He goes to grab another, when he notices me.
Eye to eye, it is different. Staring at someone you know could kill you in an instant, without a lick of fear or worry, is a wonderful thing, I think. We watch each other for a moment, and he kneels down. He calls and whistles, and I come to him. Wagging my tail, skittering on a slippery gym floor, and sitting before him. He smiles, patting me, then stands up and looks at his watch. Realizing he is late for a meeting, he disappears down the hallway. And I follow him. I like him a lot. He's a nice human.
Perhaps this is my chance.
Day 6
Such a wonderful chain of events yesterday. Beautiful. Wonderful. I followed that man, as he headed back to where he had a meeting, ending up running because he was very late. I ran after, panting hard to catch up. I may have some muscle, but not any compared to him. Wonderful, wonderful man. Much unlike the impolite, self-obsessed, play boy Tony Stark. Oh well.
I followed him to a large, circular room in which a table was, and people around it. Most were ordinary looking people, but it dawned on me that they were definitely not ordinary. My human sat down, and I sat beside him. "You're late, Rogers" Growled the man at the head of the table. He had an eye patch, and I thought it looked funny. "Sorry sir, found this guy and got side tracked." Rogers, as the man is known, lifted me to the table. I sat down again, and Stark cried out. "HA! Take it, please, Captain. I don't want it anymore." He spoke eagerly, hopeful to get Pepper off his back for my adoption. I knew this was his thinking. I looked at Rogers, and knew he was interested, but a bit resentful at the time. I could understand.
"Let's get on with the meeting people." Sighed the eye patch man. He is Fury, I think. I am not sure. I bounced off the table and sat underneath it, listening to the conversation and to the hidden thoughts of people around me. They were all feeling the same, with differences thrown into the mixture. It was soothing for my overactive mind, and I soon dozed off under the table.
It took a while for me to wake up. When I did, I was being pulled out from under the table by Stark, and lifted uncomfortably at Rogers. "Take him, god please, get Pepper off of my back." He begged. The Captain raised an eyebrow and thought about it. "I don't know... I've got a lot going on already." He sighed calmly. His thoughts were cloudy, too hard to read. "Take him, come on. If it doesn't work out bring him back, and I'll find him somewhere else. Give it a shot, please." Said Tony, and reluctantly Rogers agreed. I wagged my tail eagerly.
Now I am at his apartment. It is a comfy, cozy place, nice and quiet and a bit secluded. There's not much stuff here but I like it. And I like having someone who might enjoy having me. When Rogers and I arrived, we entered without a sound. Now, we watch each other, curious as to what to do next. "Well, I'm Steven Rogers. This is my apartment. Not much, but it's all I really can handle right now." He says, calmly. I sneeze, as if to say yes. I am still a dog and cannot open my mouth and talk to humans. Sometimes I wish I could, but I can't.
"Not sure if you have a name or anything, but maybe you should..." He says thoughtfully, leaning against the wall. I can't help myself. My mind erupts with power, and suddenly my thoughts are speaking themselves, like everyone else's does for me. I have a name. I am Felix. I hear my mind say this and open my eyes wide, very wide. He stares at me surprised, and we both stay shocked for a time. "Okay... That was really weird. Did you do that?" He questions. I answer. I can't help it anymore. I just go ahead and answer telepathically.
Yes. I don't know how to explain this. I'm... Different. I'm sorry if I've startled you. This scared me as well. I say this carefully, calmly, and collectively. He nods slowly and bends down, rubbing his thumb and forefinger on my ear.
"Interesting. Tony probably never knew about that."
Day 7
Over the night, Steven Rogers and I have learned more about one another. I know how greatly he has suffered through his life, once being thin and laughed at, and still being laughed at after being injected with a super serum. How he fought for his country valiantly, and would have liked to die fighting instead of still being alive today.
I explained my own predicament, how even as a child my brain was extraordinary, how deeply I suffered every day because of it. How I try to keep on trucking, but the pain and suffering I go through round the clock makes me want to quit. I told my entire story telepathically of course, and I'm glad inside my voice does not waver. I might have started crying a few times, had I been able to do it. Good thing is, we understand each other. We agreed.
Today, he is going to his usual place, a small gym. This is still a city, but less of one. A suburban city? I wouldn't think of it as that. The morning is crisp as we step out, I following him with perk in my step. There is no need for a leash. I am a fine young animal and wouldn't think to run away from someone so kind to me. I feel my loyalty swelling, and this surprises me, as it's been hidden for so long. I haven't dared bring it out lately, as so far it has brought me little more than pain and suffering.
Rogers walks briskly, and it's a comfortable pace for me. I am amazed at his strength and muscle, but I suppose I shouldn't be. He's a super soldier, I must remember, and a great one at that. Selfless, proud, indignant, but calm and ready for action. Different from Stark. Very. I like Steven Rogers a lot better than Stark anyway. Much better. Kinder, for one reason. Gentler, and easier to get along with. And easier to talk to. Wonderful life.
We've arrived at the gym by now. I am a mere dog, a young dog at that, and physical strength is not my high point. I have mental strength. We all know that. I choose to watch him instead. Sir, I wonder, why do you attack the punching bag so viciously? my voice purred into his head, quietly though. He turns to respond. "It's how I remember, and try to forget." He says calmly, turning back to his work. I wag my tail a little, feeling interested. I pledge my loyalty to this man. He deserves it.
I dozed off for a while. Steven continued training his muscles, while all the crazed thoughts in my head caused me to eventually tucker out and fall asleep. I was curled up on the floor last I knew. When I awoke, Rogers had me in his arms, and was taking me back to the apartment. Now, I yawn and leave his strong hands, choosing to follow behind with my tail wagging.
What a wonderful day it has been. I think.
Day 8
A week has passed since I last etched. I trust Rogers with my life, and act as his servant. A loyal servant. I do everything he asks. All of it. I want to please him, which pleases me since normal dogs like pleasing their owners too. I think. I'm not sure, since I'm not normal. Oh well.
There's another meeting. I'm going too. I like to think I am Steven's protector, his watch dog or something. I know I'm not. He looks after himself. Easily. I still like to think it though. He rides a motorcycle, and it kind of terrifies me. I grip onto it as well as I can, but I feel like I'm slipping until he grabs my waist and holds me there, because my telepathic mind screams my fear, straight to him. I am so easily terrified by wind in my fur. I know I'm not a real dog.
We arrive at the meeting, early this time. My tail is wagging. Perhaps I will be able to show off to Tony Stark. He's kind of rude anyway. I don't care for him much.
I've learned a lot about the Avengers Initiative. Tony Stark is a clever man, and he is 'Ironman' in the Avengers. There is Dr. Banner, I think, and he transforms into a giant green monster and kills everything. Fun. There are more, but I am too overwhelmed to remember easily. The thought of a group of... I guess, special folk excites me. It means that maybe I have a place I belong, helping Earth with them. Probably not. I want to be a dog.
I follow Rogers into the building, taking careful steps. I have long claws, but they aren't sharp. They mostly click on the ground where I step. It's an interesting sound. Like when a woman in high heels passes by. My mind is wandering, and I don't know why it is going to the clicking of my claws. But that's okay. I'm too happy to care really.
Felix
→ Origin and meaning:
The name Felix means happy and fortunate in Latin, which is opposite this guy's real personality. He likes his name though; It fits him.
Alias(es):
N/A
Gender:
Male
Breed and Species:
Canine:: Akita Inu Mix
Theme Song:
In The End by Linkin Park
Sexual Orientation:
Straight
Relationship Status:
He's not in a relationship.
Family/Relatives/Friends:
His closest friend is Steve Rogers.
He is also close to Hakim.
Accessories:
N/A
Psychological Profile:
Felix has had a very hard life so far. He's unsure, and afraid about so many things around him. It's hard for him to trust anyone, or anything, because of this. His mental abilities also make his fearfulness worse, since he can sense how people feel towards him, or what 'aura' they feel. It terrifies Felix immensely.
He's also skittish in a different factor of his way. His thought abilities. They have a much deeper power than even he understands, and can influence him to fear if another person is afraid. Felix has spent so much time in New York, around a lot of other fearful people and animals, and so has picked up a fearfulness from them.
Despite his desperate fear, Felix is, as many dogs are, impatiently curious. He likes learning, and increasing the uses of his brain immensely. Although, curiosity is not necessarily a good thing, in his life. It's Felix's curiosity that drives him to read people with his mind. He can't help it, because it's a natural thing he wants to do.
Curiosity has saved Felix's life before, as well. His curiosity has led him to seeing what's a bad thing to do, and a good thing to do, and thus, based on what he has seen from seeking it out with curiosity, he knows exactly how to behave in his home, and is a very fast learner in new places.
Felix is very influenced by the people and dogs he has met and interacted with in his life. He takes their advice to heart, and remembers it throughout his years. Those he's stuck with longer, or has had better friendships with, he keeps more to his heart. Felix also has his own influential personality, but it's a lot less powerful than others are to him. As well as being influenced physically, Felix has been influenced by others secretly, in the mental part of state and body. His head picks up on others' feelings and emotions, and transfers it to him. He is influenced, unwillingly, to feel what others feel, and it makes it easier for him to know how to act around them.
If Felix finds someone he gets along very well with, perhaps a person who makes a perfect owner, he will become ultimately loyal. He will pursue pleasing the person or animal, trying to keep them happy. He will not sell them out for anything, won't share their secrets, and doesn't even expect the same treatment back.
Loyalty is a surprising factor in Felix's life, as it doesn't reward him very often. Even after being back-stabbed by many once called 'friends', he still retains a loyal piece of mind, though he has also learned reluctance about showing it to just anyone. Only those he knows he can trust earn his service anymore.
Felix has learned the art of secrecy the hardest way possible. He has had to pick it up after weeks of torment and mistreatment. Long ago, when he was much younger and had more friends, he shared the secret of his power to someone, and ultimately paid the price. They told others, and eventually it was one on all.
Secrecy is also one of the few ways Felix has stayed alive in New York for so long, as he has been capable of keeping to himself, and telling others as little as they can get out of him. He has become detached, and anymore keeping to himself as become a big part of his life, and a habit that's hard to break.
Background Overview:Journal of Felix
This story includes people/characters from the recent new movie "The Avengers", including Tony Stark, Pepper, and Steven Rogers. I take no ownership of them, nor creation of them. They were invented by Marvel and I simply wish to use them for this story. Thank you.
Day 1
Still on the streets. Still fighting for my life. My brain is in severe pain, and has been. Won't make it unless I get away~ There are too many people, too many thoughts zipping around me. Too many things to confuse my brain. It's not a vein clot in my head, that causes this immense head ache. It's my overreacting mind, annexing itself onto the thoughts of other people and feeding itself information. I hate myself for this. I hate the fact I can look into people, for who they truly are and how they truly think of me. I'm scared that one day this will lead to my intimate demise. It's a possibility anyway.
The library was closed today, but that was because they were cleaning up the old books and getting rid of some. I knew this, but I shouldn't have. The library is my favorite place. Even behind it, by the smelly dumpster where the rats hang out. I love it. So much. Due to the fact it was a cleaning day, many old books lay in boxes in the alley behind the library. So many of them. Enough to keep my brain busy for a few hours of the day, instead of allowing it to wander off and hurt me. Hurt me so much...
I'm different, I know. I know how people see me. I cannot mention my secret without getting awful glares from people around me. It hurts, so much. I am feared and despised just because I know why they look at me funny. I'm a street dog too. No one likes strays. Pure bred Akita dog, standing on the street looking for a home, but I am kicked to the curb or ignored. Someone tried to run over me once. That was scary.
I had no luck with food. My usual joint was also closed, as well as several other places I liked fetching my meals from. I had to trash dig, only found a bone or two. And a rat. It bit me on the nose and stole the bone I found. Rats are not good friends. They lie through their teeth to get what they want. I know when they lie, even if they do it at their absolute best.
I wasn't here when it happened. 'Aliens' attacked New York. Was out in the country, trying to calm my mind. When I came back to the good Manhattan I was used to, zip. Everything was in ruins. There were bodies of rock-like, deadly looking monsters everywhere. And giant things, all crunched up and covered in armor. I didn't have a clue what happened. I was so lost and confused when I came back. There was nearly nothing for me here, but I managed to make a living.
I still make a living. Must do that now.
Day 2
So many new things are taking place. So many things to think about. To hear about. So many intelligent things. But I don't care for them. I prefer going on with my life and leaving the thinking to other people. Except I can't. My brain makes me think. I have to think. Or else it hurts. So much pain I've encountered. Thinking is like breathing for me. I hate thinking so much. It hurts. But my brain doesn't care.
Sleep. Not even sleep saves me from my mind. It's scary. I know how to live with it though. It takes a little while, getting used to the voices people are thinking, which should be conserved to their head, but is in yours as well. I managed. Not easily, though. Barely. I promise you.
I see things, that amuse me. Like the red metal man. He flies too high for my power to reach, and I envy him. He flies to his building, marked with "Stark". I wish I could fly. Then I could escape the head-aching thoughts that fill me every day. I wish I had a big, metal suit, to block off the rest of the world and be on my own. I wish... No. No time for wishes and dreams.
The metal man, I will find him. I will see him and watch him fly. Perhaps I may find a home... A quiet home. A calm home. A home that welcomes me. I hope. I wish. But there's no time for wishes.
There is time for thinking. And surviving. I will do both.
Day 3
Long time, no see. I walk the streets of Manhattan with a new air. Bravery enters me. I went to visit the man with his metal suit. The metal man. No one else I know calls him that. They say "Tony" or 'Stark' or 'Ironman' but I do not know these names. I know him differently, and he must show me that he is not just a metal man. I like when people show me what they're made of on their own, instead of my having to read it.
His building. It's so very big, and confusing. It was easy enough to get inside. It is hard now that I am inside. I could not concentrate. The walls are thick, though, and hide the voices outside. It is easy for me to hide from humans. They do not see very well. I do. I ran. I went deeper into the building, eventually finding stairs and making my way up. Up as high as I could go. Kept running up, even when fatigue filled me. Up was my escape, I remembered.
There were so few voices, so very few. My brain was... clear. For once. I loved it. I kept running up, until there were no more stairs, and entered a hallway. Not much, just a few doors and things. It was all so different from New York and Manhattan. They had a touch of old times to them. But not here. Nothing.
I sat outside a door and waited. Perhaps someone would come by. Perhaps not. I was patient enough, and hunger was no problem. As a stray, I learned regurgitating food and feeding on it a second time is very useful. Keeps me less hungry. I regurgitated my last meal, cold chicken, but someone watched.
A human, a girl, female. Watched me puke on the floor. That's what regurgitation is; puking. I stopped lurching and carrying forth my lunch to look at her, and my brain automatically read her. She was curious. She felt sorry for me. I didn't see why. No one felt sorry for me. Or my dirty pelt or legs like sticks. I was on my own. But she felt sorry.
We stared at one another for a while. Then she called to me. I came. She believed I was a poor, sick stray who needed love and attention. That was true. She picked me up, wiping a bit of cold chicken liquid off my muzzle, and carried me to a door. It was an elevator. I knew. The elevator went up, but only when she wanted it to. I suspected no one else could use it. It was hers, and probably the metal man's as well.
I was interested. Kindness is a rare thing to come by.
Day 4
I do know the metal man is not the metal man anymore. He is Stark. I know this now. He was not happy to see me when he came home. I watched from the couch, after being bathed, fed, and comforted by his friend. Her name is Pepper, I know this now. I like her a lot. She speaks comforting words to me, and she is kind. "Come now, boy. I know you must be hungry. Come and eat, come on." She said. I went. She is good outside herself and inside. I can tell. My mind tells me these things.
When Stark came home, he came home in a fantastic way. I wish I could do it. He was in his metal suit, and landed. I see no colors, but can sense that it is red, maybe something else. Not quite sure. He landed his suit on a terrace outside, and walked. Parts began to move and I was frightened. But it was okay, Pepper comforted me and told me it was okay. I listened. I am not one to argue with kind humans. He landed and walked forward, and machinery removed his suit quickly and easily. He did nothing, just paced forward.
Stark smiled at Pepper, but seeing me made him frown. He raised an eyebrow, and I dropped my ears. I fear what humans will think of me. "What is this doing here? Where'd you pick it up?" He asked. "Well, I've decided he makes a much better Stark in the long run." Smirked Pepper. I wagged my tail a little. Stark didn't seem all too amused. "I'm not letting strays run about my building. He'll have to go to someone else. Sorry." He said. I could feel Pepper, I knew she was unhappy. I got off the couch, walking towards the door and sitting there, waiting. "See? He wants to go" Stark said.
"No, Tony, if we give him away to anyone, you're going to find him a home yourself." She said. I knew what she meant. He'd be finding me a better home than a crowded pound or such. I thanked her silently, because pounds are loud with thoughts and minds. The pain I yield from pounds is unbearable for a dog. It might kill a human. Stark groaned, unhappily. "Come on... I don't know anyone who would take a dog like... That." He said. Looked at me funny. I wagged my tail a little. "Fine, at the next Avengers Initiative meeting, I'll take him there. Hopefully that'll get him off our hands." He sighed. Pepper smiled and they hugged, sitting on the couch.
Mr. Stark is going to find me a new home soon. I am excited, since a new home is exactly what I've been looking for. Someone to actually want me around.
Day 5
This happens as I speak it. My mind etches down what goes on as I live it. No longer will I commonly recollect. I will inform as things happen, most of the time. It's easier. At least, for me. Remembrance is an evil thing for me. I have suffered much, and I am young. Maybe two years old. I have suffered greatly in my past though. So now, I am afraid to remember. So I will etch them down as they happen.
Stark has taken me to his 'Avengers Initiate' meeting. He is apprehensive about it, I know. He acts excited though, because he will be getting rid of me, and he wants to appear perky and happy today. I know Stark much better now, and he is very good at concealing true emotion. But not from me. I know how he feels. I know how everyone feels. My time in his home, maybe a week, it was quiet and kind on my brain. It was wonderful in fact. Calm, quiet, wonderful. Like bliss.
When I am let down, as he carried me in his metal suit to get here, my brain immediately picks up mixed things. They are the thoughts and beliefs of soldiers, of spies, of killers and of other dangers. I am frightened. but Stark encourages me. "Go, go on, wander around and see if someone likes you enough to keep you. So Pepper'll get off my back." He insists. I go. Carefully. My paws make hardly a sound as I briskly pace down random hallways, ears down, looking about. People look at me, oddly, but otherwise ignore me. I continue, looking for somewhere quiet.
I find my quietness. Heading down, for once, down has saved me. I am confused though, up or down? Which is better? Oh well. It doesn't matter now, only that down is better than up right now. I walk, carefully, sitting to concentrate on my thoughts. When a new sound enters my ears. I am confused though, as I do not sense anything in my head yet. I follow the noise, careful to listen and walk. Down here it's a maze.
The sounds are vicious. They sound like the one time I watched a pair of gangs go into a fist fight. A fist making hard contact with something. Maybe a person? I am doubtful. I keep going though. I am curious now. The noise gets louder, and following it brings newer, sounds. Huffs of breath with every shot. A short "Hah!" with every muffled punch. I wag my tail a little, and walk a bit quicker. I recognize what one might call this place. A training area, or something. But there's only one person here, I am sure.
I enter a large room, where a man stands alone. I sniff, cautiously, but I know he is not dangerous. In fact, he is the most interesting person as all. His thoughts are clear, and calm, but muddled partly with recollections of the past. With each blow, I know he sees worse ones coming up and he hits more and more powerful. A leather bag, a punching bag, is his target. I watch for a few moments, trying to not read his thoughts, just watch for once. His muscles are tensing with every shot, and, finally, the bag flies off its chain and slams into the wall. He goes to grab another, when he notices me.
Eye to eye, it is different. Staring at someone you know could kill you in an instant, without a lick of fear or worry, is a wonderful thing, I think. We watch each other for a moment, and he kneels down. He calls and whistles, and I come to him. Wagging my tail, skittering on a slippery gym floor, and sitting before him. He smiles, patting me, then stands up and looks at his watch. Realizing he is late for a meeting, he disappears down the hallway. And I follow him. I like him a lot. He's a nice human.
Perhaps this is my chance.
Day 6
Such a wonderful chain of events yesterday. Beautiful. Wonderful. I followed that man, as he headed back to where he had a meeting, ending up running because he was very late. I ran after, panting hard to catch up. I may have some muscle, but not any compared to him. Wonderful, wonderful man. Much unlike the impolite, self-obsessed, play boy Tony Stark. Oh well.
I followed him to a large, circular room in which a table was, and people around it. Most were ordinary looking people, but it dawned on me that they were definitely not ordinary. My human sat down, and I sat beside him. "You're late, Rogers" Growled the man at the head of the table. He had an eye patch, and I thought it looked funny. "Sorry sir, found this guy and got side tracked." Rogers, as the man is known, lifted me to the table. I sat down again, and Stark cried out. "HA! Take it, please, Captain. I don't want it anymore." He spoke eagerly, hopeful to get Pepper off his back for my adoption. I knew this was his thinking. I looked at Rogers, and knew he was interested, but a bit resentful at the time. I could understand.
"Let's get on with the meeting people." Sighed the eye patch man. He is Fury, I think. I am not sure. I bounced off the table and sat underneath it, listening to the conversation and to the hidden thoughts of people around me. They were all feeling the same, with differences thrown into the mixture. It was soothing for my overactive mind, and I soon dozed off under the table.
It took a while for me to wake up. When I did, I was being pulled out from under the table by Stark, and lifted uncomfortably at Rogers. "Take him, god please, get Pepper off of my back." He begged. The Captain raised an eyebrow and thought about it. "I don't know... I've got a lot going on already." He sighed calmly. His thoughts were cloudy, too hard to read. "Take him, come on. If it doesn't work out bring him back, and I'll find him somewhere else. Give it a shot, please." Said Tony, and reluctantly Rogers agreed. I wagged my tail eagerly.
Now I am at his apartment. It is a comfy, cozy place, nice and quiet and a bit secluded. There's not much stuff here but I like it. And I like having someone who might enjoy having me. When Rogers and I arrived, we entered without a sound. Now, we watch each other, curious as to what to do next. "Well, I'm Steven Rogers. This is my apartment. Not much, but it's all I really can handle right now." He says, calmly. I sneeze, as if to say yes. I am still a dog and cannot open my mouth and talk to humans. Sometimes I wish I could, but I can't.
"Not sure if you have a name or anything, but maybe you should..." He says thoughtfully, leaning against the wall. I can't help myself. My mind erupts with power, and suddenly my thoughts are speaking themselves, like everyone else's does for me. I have a name. I am Felix. I hear my mind say this and open my eyes wide, very wide. He stares at me surprised, and we both stay shocked for a time. "Okay... That was really weird. Did you do that?" He questions. I answer. I can't help it anymore. I just go ahead and answer telepathically.
Yes. I don't know how to explain this. I'm... Different. I'm sorry if I've startled you. This scared me as well. I say this carefully, calmly, and collectively. He nods slowly and bends down, rubbing his thumb and forefinger on my ear.
"Interesting. Tony probably never knew about that."
Day 7
Over the night, Steven Rogers and I have learned more about one another. I know how greatly he has suffered through his life, once being thin and laughed at, and still being laughed at after being injected with a super serum. How he fought for his country valiantly, and would have liked to die fighting instead of still being alive today.
I explained my own predicament, how even as a child my brain was extraordinary, how deeply I suffered every day because of it. How I try to keep on trucking, but the pain and suffering I go through round the clock makes me want to quit. I told my entire story telepathically of course, and I'm glad inside my voice does not waver. I might have started crying a few times, had I been able to do it. Good thing is, we understand each other. We agreed.
Today, he is going to his usual place, a small gym. This is still a city, but less of one. A suburban city? I wouldn't think of it as that. The morning is crisp as we step out, I following him with perk in my step. There is no need for a leash. I am a fine young animal and wouldn't think to run away from someone so kind to me. I feel my loyalty swelling, and this surprises me, as it's been hidden for so long. I haven't dared bring it out lately, as so far it has brought me little more than pain and suffering.
Rogers walks briskly, and it's a comfortable pace for me. I am amazed at his strength and muscle, but I suppose I shouldn't be. He's a super soldier, I must remember, and a great one at that. Selfless, proud, indignant, but calm and ready for action. Different from Stark. Very. I like Steven Rogers a lot better than Stark anyway. Much better. Kinder, for one reason. Gentler, and easier to get along with. And easier to talk to. Wonderful life.
We've arrived at the gym by now. I am a mere dog, a young dog at that, and physical strength is not my high point. I have mental strength. We all know that. I choose to watch him instead. Sir, I wonder, why do you attack the punching bag so viciously? my voice purred into his head, quietly though. He turns to respond. "It's how I remember, and try to forget." He says calmly, turning back to his work. I wag my tail a little, feeling interested. I pledge my loyalty to this man. He deserves it.
I dozed off for a while. Steven continued training his muscles, while all the crazed thoughts in my head caused me to eventually tucker out and fall asleep. I was curled up on the floor last I knew. When I awoke, Rogers had me in his arms, and was taking me back to the apartment. Now, I yawn and leave his strong hands, choosing to follow behind with my tail wagging.
What a wonderful day it has been. I think.
Day 8
A week has passed since I last etched. I trust Rogers with my life, and act as his servant. A loyal servant. I do everything he asks. All of it. I want to please him, which pleases me since normal dogs like pleasing their owners too. I think. I'm not sure, since I'm not normal. Oh well.
There's another meeting. I'm going too. I like to think I am Steven's protector, his watch dog or something. I know I'm not. He looks after himself. Easily. I still like to think it though. He rides a motorcycle, and it kind of terrifies me. I grip onto it as well as I can, but I feel like I'm slipping until he grabs my waist and holds me there, because my telepathic mind screams my fear, straight to him. I am so easily terrified by wind in my fur. I know I'm not a real dog.
We arrive at the meeting, early this time. My tail is wagging. Perhaps I will be able to show off to Tony Stark. He's kind of rude anyway. I don't care for him much.
I've learned a lot about the Avengers Initiative. Tony Stark is a clever man, and he is 'Ironman' in the Avengers. There is Dr. Banner, I think, and he transforms into a giant green monster and kills everything. Fun. There are more, but I am too overwhelmed to remember easily. The thought of a group of... I guess, special folk excites me. It means that maybe I have a place I belong, helping Earth with them. Probably not. I want to be a dog.
I follow Rogers into the building, taking careful steps. I have long claws, but they aren't sharp. They mostly click on the ground where I step. It's an interesting sound. Like when a woman in high heels passes by. My mind is wandering, and I don't know why it is going to the clicking of my claws. But that's okay. I'm too happy to care really.